Mr and Mrs Danielson
by ticknart
Summary: Why Brian and Erin went to Europe. Originally written in March 2011 and posted to PPMB.


Brian eased his hand under Erin's shirt and onto her stomach. He used it to pull her warm body closer to his. He nibbled on her earlobe and she sighed.

"Good morning Mrs. Danielson," he whispered.

From his vantage point he could she her cheek move. She was smiling. More than two years after their wedding and she was still happy to be with him. He nuzzled the back of her neck to show that he was happy, too.

"Good morning," she said, breathing deeply through her nose and stretching her back against his body.

He moved his mouth back to her ear and whispered, "I'm glad you got back from your trip so early."

"Me, too," she said, sliding his hand higher up her body. She sighed again and pushed into his body some more. She reached her hand behind herself, between them, and snaked it down below his stomach.

This time he sighed.

It was the Wednesday before their vacation next week. Originally only Brian had taken the days off before the weekend. He was supposed to take the time to get their apartment cleaned and pack their bags so they wouldn't have to worry about anything while they were gone. Where they were going, neither knew. They had no money and no real plans. They only knew they needed to get away from their apartment, their jobs, and Erin's mother, Rita. They would not be stopping anywhere in either of the Virginias, thank you very much. Both Brian and Erin needed to be hundreds miles and several toll booths away from that woman.

If Erin and Brian had made specific plans, Rita would have sniffed them out and be there with whoever she was currently seeing. She'd done it before. Rita showed up in the lodge when they went skiing in Vermont. Rita questioned the abilities of the Amish when she appeared during their trip to Pennsylvania. Rita griped about the sun and heat and humidity when she found them on a beach in Florida. Brian figured that if both he and Erin were approved to be the first people to Mars, Rita would somehow be there waiting to complain about the horrible color of the rocks.

A week away with no specific plans seemed like the best way to keep under Rita's radar. Drive when they wanted to drive. Stop and see what they wanted to see. Stop at a dingy motel or overly decorated bed and breakfast when they got tired. Eat whatever and whenever their stomachs demanded food. Brian thought it would be fun as well as peaceful.

Brian, a little out of breath, broke away from Erin's embrace. She pulled herself back into him and planted several quick kisses on his lips, letting the last one linger. When she pulled her lips from his, he moved his head down and started lightly kissing her neck.

"You know what would be fun?" asked Erin, lifting her head to grant access to her shoulder.

Brian mumbled a no into her neck as he continued to kiss.

"We should go to Europe next week."

He raised his head and said, "We can't afford that."

"True," she said, running her fingers over his arm, "but we both know someone who can."

He stopped kissing her and thought for a minute then said, "No. We can't ask her." He pulled his head away from her body so he could see all of Erin's face.

She smirked. "Come on," she said. "What else is a grandmother for? And you know she'll do it for her favorite daughter's daughter."

He knew she would, but getting the money out of old widowed miser Barksdale wasn't the problem. "She'll tell your mom," he said. "Your mother will be there waiting for us. If she's not on the plane, she'll be at the hotel, or the train platform, or something we go to see. She'll be there. And she'll bring some jackass with her. Or worse, she'll pick up some Eurotrash who's younger than you are."

Her eyes narrowed and her smirk broadened into a toothy grin. She looked downright devious. "I have an idea," she said, sounding devious, too.

Erin rolled away from Brian and reached out to the night stand on her side of the bed. She grabbed her cell phone then scooted back into her pillow and the headboard to help her sit up. Once sitting, she took several deep breaths and scrunched her face up. After a while, tears started leaking out of the corner of her eyes and her breathing grew short.

The first time Brian had watched Erin go through this transformation was when they couldn't get into a club in New York. Watching her go from straight faced and happy to teary and upset in under a minute was disturbing. However, it got them into the club. That night he learned that there's power in the tears of pretty women, but he soon learned that it was nothing compared to the powers of a daughter or granddaughter's tears.

Erin didn't turn on the phone and dial until her sobs came hard, deep from her chest.

Brian watched as she held the phone to her ear. Her face was bright red with a tear line freely flowing from each eye. Tears dropped from her chin onto the comforter she'd pulled over her lap. Her neck and chest were red and blotchy. Her hair bunched and twisted from her earlier activities. Anyone else would have thought she was an insane homeless woman; to Brian, she was beautiful. He smiled at his beautiful wife. She gave him a weak smile through her sobbing.

"M-Mom?" she said into her phone. "N-no, I'm not alright." Her crying grew louder. "I think..." She let out a big sob. "I think Brian is going to divorce me!"

Brian shook his head when he heard her say that. He thought it was extreme, but he knew to trust Erin. There was a reason she worked out in the field while he sat behind a desk. Her instincts with people were much keener than his, keener than most anyone he'd met at the agency. He had difficulty reading people who were talking to him; Erin could read people over the phone as if she were standing right next to them.

"I don't know, mom," Erin continued, her sobbing lightening up. "I don't think I can trust just any lawyer." She took a shuddering breath. "Do you think Aunt Helen...?"

Through the tiny earpiece on the phone Brian could hear Rita get agitated. He'd never heard any specific reason for the bitterness, verging on hatred, that Rita had for her younger sister. He doubted Erin had any idea exactly what had happened between them, if anything had actually happened. It was probably just petty sibling rivalry, sisters acting stupid. Maybe some stupid jealousy over who was loved more by daddy. Not for the first time, Brian was glad that his sister was twelve years older than him. Hard to be jealous of someone who wasn't really in his life.

"God, Mom! I don't know. Mom... Mom!" Tears started to pour down her cheeks. "You know I only married him because I didn't think anyone else would want me once they found out I had herpes!"

The smile disappeared from Brian's face. He closed his eyes and whispered, "Trust your wife. Trust your wife. Trust your wife. She knows what she's doing." It didn't make him feel any better. A few months ago, in a fit of rage aimed at Brian, Erin had called her mother and had implied that Brian had given her herpes and that was the only reason she'd married him. He'd made a half joke about how she liked working with so many men with very few women around for competition. She didn't even think it was a little funny and now half of West Virginian society thought he'd given a delicate flower a lifelong disease.

"You don't understand," sobbed Erin. "The real estate exam is hard. He's trying. He is."

He smiled a little at that. He'd been suspended for some time after their honeymoon and they both agreed it was best not to tell anyone what had happened, as well as being ordered not to tell, so they said he'd been fired. Several months later he was reinstated, but they kept telling Rita and Erin's grandma that he was out of work because they got a little extra money once in a while and every newly married couple can do with some more cash coming in. Sometimes, though, he wasn't sure he liked being thought of as an idiot by her family, but it was a small price to pay to keep her happy and with him.

The reason he got suspended irked him, though. Erin told some people about his job at their wedding and someone got curious and he was punished for the slip. Sure, Brian accidently said something about his job to Lerman, his weird cousin, who'd just turned it into a joke, trying to make Brian feel stupid on his wedding day. Erin telling people, however, wasn't an accident. She didn't make slips like that on accident. It was all a game to her and every little move she made was meant to manipulate the people at their wedding. And that was how he'd ended up ditching the reception eating a burger at some cheap chain restaurant. But the day was Erin's and she was happy about how it all turned out.

He only half listened to Erin talk to her mother. Most of it was repeated over and over again. She mentioned fights they didn't have, mild mental abuse, and weird ideas about sex. None of it was true, but Rita didn't like Brian and she was inclined to believe anything her daughter said about him because it reinforced everything she thought about him in the first place. Not that anyone in Erin's family liked him after that wedding. He was sure he sounded smug and sexist. "If our national security is compromised, you can bet there's a woman at the bottom of it." That was a joke that fell completely flat with everyone there. He probably could have made an effort when Erin's ugly cousin and bohemian aunt came into that restaurant, but he had been too exhausted to make any kind of an effort.

"Mom?" said Erin, her heavy sobs returning. "J-just t-talk to Grandma, okay? She can help." She reached over to run her free hand through Brian's hair. "She fixes everything, Mom. Just call her." He scooted closer to her and started to kiss her shoulder again. "Th-thanks, Mom. I-I love you, too. 'Bye."

She snapped her phone shut and threw it onto the end of the bed. She took his face in her hands and lifted it so he was looking into her blotchy face. "I think we need a shower," she said with a tear-streaked smile on her face. He wasn't dumb enough to argue with her.

They spent most of the day packing and discussing their plans for Europe. The idea was to pack light and get a Eurail pass and just go anywhere. They knew co-workers from the agency who worked in every major city and would be willing to give them a place to sleep. And when they couldn't get a place, a call from Erin could probably get enough money wired to them for a decent hotel room for the night.

That evening Erin spoke with her mother again. Rita had set it up so that Erin's Aunt Helen would take the case. Erin was supposed to be in Lawndale on Saturday. Unfortunately, Rita wasn't going to be there; she was going to New York for a week with her boyfriend. Erin took care of that with a quick phone call to a friend at the agency who would make a call to the boyfriend the next day to stir something up and get Rita down to Maryland the next week. Brian marveled at how adaptable his wife was to potential problems to her plans. He would never be as good as she was.

Next, Erin, in tears again, called her grandmother. She spent most of this call sobbing into the phone and saying "Uh-huh" over and over. Her grandmother was someone who liked to be listened too, and rarely listened. Eventually Erin got to speak and said how exhausted she was, how she'd like a break from all the problems, and then Erin hinted about the spa her grandmother had gone to in Switzerland.

"No," Brian heard Erin say, "I couldn't. I have to go to Aunt Helen's because Mom can't be there. What do you mean she's not going to New York? Well, I suppose she could take care of... No, I'm at home. Brian's the one who left me." She broke into huge sobs at the mention of his name. "You-you'd do that for me? No, I can take care of the arrangements. If you'd just wire the money to me that'd be g-great. Thanks, G-grandmother."

She put down the phone, wiped her eyes, and smiled at him. "She thinks I'm going to Gstaad."

He stood and bowed to her. "Milady," he said, "you are the master."

She stood and curtsied to him. "Milord, you are too kind."

He offered her his hand and said, "Nonsense."

She took his hand and said, "Your flattery moves me." And they waltzed around the sofa to the music they made together.

Tired and smiling, they sat down at the kitchen table.

"I'll call Aunt Helen's from the airport on Saturday," said Erin, entwining her fingers with Brian's and explaining the rest of her plan. "I'll stir up some trouble."

"Why?" he asked.

"Why not?" she said. "Then on Sunday I'll call Aunt Helen's again and say you chased me to Gstaad and we're having a second honeymoon."

Brian leaned in close to Erin's face, "And we will be."

She kissed him. "Yes," she said, kissing him again, "we will. Mr. Danielson."

"Mrs. Danielson," he whispered into her ear, then kissed her back.

* * *

Credit Due:

Daria and related characters owned by Viacom/MTV © and ™.

The original story is mine. If for some reason you want to share this story, link back here and offer credit where's it's due. Thanks.


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